Vacuum Cleaner Preparedness Week is a special report run by the Cat News station as a public service to all cats about the dangers of vacuum cleaners. Described as a "troubling statistic", as much as trillions of cats might be caught unaware by vacuum cleaners. As stated by Lupin, "Preparation is the only thing keeping you from being sucked into a disaster!"
Puck advised seeking shelter immediately, saying "If it's not a broom, leave the room". He also provided a chart listing examples of places to seek shelter and recommended posting copies in areas where vacuums are frequently sighted. The shelter examples include:
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Elvis continued the report by interviewing Lupin, who had moved out to the field from the anchor desk and affixed a vacuum cleaner button to his sport coat, asking what items cats need to keep on paw when they seek shelter. Lupin replied with "Food and water", adding "Litter, if there's time", to which Elvis added this was another reason why cupboards provided excellent shelter. In a follow-up question Elvis asked how long a cat should be prepared to wait out the vacuum. The answer was "forever".
Cutting back to Puck, he stated family drills were helpful for vacuum safety but they made him nervous. Suddenly, Elvis appeared with a whistle, blowing on it and yelling "Go! Go!" Startled, Puck said he wanted a warning, but Elvis countered that "Fate gives no warning". Puck attempted to wrest the whistle from Elvis as Elvis did not have the right temperament to use a whistle.
Cutting back to Lupin, he directed viewers to find shelter, take cover and remain calm when the vacuum appears. However, the squabble over the whistle brought Puck and Elvis back on screen, disrupting Lupin's report. Angry, Lupin asked if they were "for real wrestling without me right now?"
At the conclusion, all three reporters took shelter under a bed. Their final advice was "most vacuums will not attack unless provoked" but it was still a good idea to be cautious, and that "vacuum cleaner preparedness is every cat's responsibility!" As Lupin continued writing on a notepad, he commented that the under-bed shelter needed ham. The cats do not see The Woman as the cause of the Vacuum. They may see the Vacuum as controlling The Woman, though.
News tickers[]
- Be prepared!
- Vacuum preparedness starts with you!
- Not a broom? Leave the room!
- Better safe than vacuumed
External links[]
- View the report online (comics for January 14, 2019 through the 19th)